I still like to take pictures.
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It’s really difficult for me to be myself. “Who am I?” is an unanswered question that is always distracting me from finding out. In fact the fear of finding out the kind of person that I am is so great that I can never truly act myself because the idea that others wouldn’t get offended seems to me an improbability. However, no matter what, I still seem to offend people and alienate them through my internal struggle between the disguising of myself of the things I fear will offend them and yet still presenting my self honestly. And when I ask myself, “Who am I?” I think that I am someone I don’t like. However, this opinion of myself is only a perception of myself and not who I really am. Although I think that ones desire to not offend, is something to appreciate. Ones total honesty is negative and unappealing. However, I’m still stuck with the question, only now it has become larger and more difficult to discern. “Am I a person that can truly act as himself not knowing who he is?”
A scene from on of my all time favorite films. “If….” directed by Lindsay Anderson staring Malcolm McDowell. When I was working on the set of Basquiat, I was talking with Gary Oldman. I mentioned this film and he told me that it was this film and McDowells performance that inspired him with the desire to act.
This scene, an exploration of sexual attraction through the avant-garde and girl that seems as though she was taken right out of a Fernand Léger painting
This is from the archives
I just read an article in the March 10th addition of Newsweek Magazine about the late William F. Buckley Jr. I have to be honest and say I did not really know much about this man except that he was the editor and chief and owner/publisher of the National Review and a staunch conservative. In fact at one point in my adolescent life, I thought of him as the embodiment of evil personified as wealthy no neck elitist. Ahhh…. how wrong I was to think that I was so different in my ways of thinking to this man’s. Only in my ignorance. As I read through this article I could not help but kind of admire him. In fact, congruous to mine, this article mentioned many thoughts and positions Buckley promoted in it’s thesis that claims him to be one of if not the key architect of the modern American conservative agenda. Buckley’s route ideals to be that of individualism and a pluralist freedom over the liberal collectivism and it’s dogma that is used to promote discontentment and water down American constitutional freedoms. A battle that I can not avoid as I negotiate the liberal streets of NYC. And I think it’s too bad that I did not pay closer attention to this man’s point of view for armament. Now not without my true form of incredulity, do I think that Buckley was impervious to fault of ignorance and manipulations or that his point of view and influence was too used promote agendas in direct conflict to his own. His life as been that of privilege and fortune however, well spent.
R.I.P. William F. Buckley Jr.
Been reading Conan and studying the art work of John Buscema and Cary Nord. Out of all the comic book heroes, Conan is the one character that demands that the editors pick a pencil artist that can capture action with a natural aesthetic yet still be dramatic. On the top left I drew 4 studies of Conan out of my head. 3 action and 1 close up. I used a ball point pen to prevent my self from erasing. The other 3 drawings are inking studies over pencil. When working in my sketchbook I almost never erase.
